Santa's Cap

=v= I was fleeing a mob of rampaging Santas and ducked into a nearby upscale department store. There was ... something different about it. They were playing Creedence Clearwater Revival instead of Christmas Carols.

Apparently their gimmick this year is "Hippie Holidays," and there were peace signs everywhere (peace on Earth, man!), plus a tree that was festooned with VW Microbuses and, um, hallucinogenic mushroom ornaments. This reminded me of a rather loopy letter we got when we first put the Xmas Resistance on the web, arguing that Santa's red clothes had something to do with the Amanita muscaria. I guess that's one way to keep the economy afloat.

I didn't end up buying any Christmas presents, of course, even though the San Francisco Chronicle has argued that this particular establishment sells "environmentally conscious" gifts -- such as $15,000 nature-themed earrings!

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

Turn That Frown Upside-Down!

=v= Another year, another barrage of demands that we consume, to keep the economy from failing and the terrorists from winning. This Xmas-themed disposable cup from the Xmas of Evil was available in October.

The message is clear: get out there and give them your money. $700,000,000,000 isn't enough. And by all means, ignore those reports that "Black Friday" doesn't actually help the economy.

Why We Fight

"30,000 retards, idiots, consumer whores, and knuckledraggers push and shove their way into the Boise Town Square mall for 10% off over priced T-shirts." Thanks to ELB for the tip.

The Get-Up-And-Go Spirit

The San Francisco Chronicle's front-page story yesterday had a large bold headline of the sort used to announce a war victory, for an article about insane shoppers knocking themselves out on "Black Friday." Here are the opening lines:

The get-up-and-go spirit that helped America settle the West, win two world wars and put a man on the moon isn't dead. It's just gone to the mall.

It took four Chronicle staff writers to pen this drivel.

There was little about Buy Nothing Day in most of the media and not a word about the Elf Strike. (Apparently, elf-oppressors control the MSM.)

What Would Jesus Buy?

=v= It's out just in time for the Xmas Resistance Non-Shopping Season: What Would Jesus Buy? is a documentary about Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping, who last year went on a nationwide tour to the heart of the nation's Shopocalypse.

The movie might well be playing at a theatre near you. Check the What Would Jesus Buy? website for details (and have fun watching the trailer).

We're Back!

Thanks to the diligent efforts of Elf Thumper, xmasresistance.org is back online. Enjoy! And don't forget, the Movement is about Channukah and Kwanzaa too - everyone's welcome.

Another Christmas Successfully Resisted

Who looks more cheerful?

The War on Xmas

Some Fox News employee has published a book about some sort of "War on Christmas." Apparently he's unhappy about the kind of things a Fox News employee would be unhappy about. The book echoes sentiments from the John Birch Society in the 1950s ("Where's Baby Jesus? The Commies got him!") which were themselves minor rehashes of screeds written by Henry Ford and his ilk in the 1920s ("Where's Baby Jesus? The Jews kidnapped him!")

The book lives up to Fox News journalistic standards, of course, citing various anti-Christmas (and pro-"Holiday") atrocities that, um, never happened. Turns out there actually isn't any War On Christmas going on, but to keep the right-wing moonbats from sulking, the folks at Beyond Belief Media thoughtfully declared one.

Interesting that Fox News would concoct a war just in time to distract attention from a real war that isn't going so well. You decide: Peace on Earth or a continued War on Terra?

Comments 2005

Let's get a spam-free start this 2005 Resistance season with this brand-new comment space. Rant and rave away!

Buy Everything Day

Another Christmas Resistance season has passed, finally. Nothing to worry about until next year's Buy Everything Day!

Mercurial Saturnalianism???

So we're seeing all sorts of comments about Mercury and Saturn in the Comments posting and also in the Mailbag. Where did this come from? I don't remember any mention of these two fellas in previous years.

Is there some sort of Christmas-is-a-Pagan-Conspiracy potboiler out there this year or something?

Toys For the World

Some very very rich carolers came by and sang this to us:

TOYS FOR THE WORLD
Tune: Joy to the World, with new lyrics by Cliff Tasner

Toys for the world are made by kids
And not by elves at all!
We work them night and day
For very little pay.
And little tiny hands
Make all your fav'rite brands
That fill up the shelves in every shopping mall.

Toys for the world that Santa brings
So your sweet kids can play...
What's underneath your tree
Is our economy.
And all those girls and boys
Who make you're children's toys
Are not getting squat from us on Christmas Day!
They're not getting squat from us on Christmas Day!